Thursday, August 20, 2009

angry ketchup

I decided to go to a bbq with one of my friends a couple of days ago. Friends. Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends.

I told him to call me when he parked his truck (my lawn was being mowed) so I could meet him outside.
He called, and as I was talking to him (while walking out) he hung up. Or so he thought.

I could hear him singing to himself as he watched me walk to his truck.

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderful


And that made me smile.



-----
At the bbq, I started talking to his best friend Jase's girlfriend. We were in the kitchen, fixing our burgers. She was making Jase's plate 'just the way he liked it'.

As I was piling the pickles on, she starts telling me about how in the beginning of their relationship, she used to write sweet things (in ketchup) on the bun. Like "I love you", hearts, or "you're a sex master" (okay, she didn't write that, but it's still funny) Being the romantic that I am, I somehow managed not to start cackling right away.
She went on to tell me that they were having problems, she was pissed at him.
Having said that, she held up the bun for me to see.

On one side was 'fuck you' and the other was a crude drawing (in ketchup) of a hand flipping him off.
I lost my shit. I laughed really really hard.

When we went back to the table, I sat across from him, and he asked if there were pickles on his burger.
No pickles.
As he's lifting up the bun, I see him look at the ketchup. The side with the finger flipping him off.
When I saw the look on his face, I laughed.

And laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

And being the adult that I am, everytime I looked at him, I laughed some more.
Until my belly hurt and I wasn't even able to eat.


The end.