Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Blackbird Song (8) Jenna says...

[Three weeks after the night that never happened]



I'll do it -- I can't -- I shouldn't.

We're at a party together. I hear you telling one of our stories, and it makes me smile. You look over at me, raising one eyebrow, your way of asking if I'm okay, and I nod back.

When your hand grazes mine and it feels like an electric shock, I tell myself that it's accidental, while hoping against hope that it wasn't.

I'll do it -- I can't -- I shouldn't.
I don't.

We end up staying the night with a few of your friends, we've both achieved that state of near perfect drunkenness, where everything is wonderful, and the world is colored with a haze of alcohol that makes everything seem fantastic.

Or maybe it's not the alcohol that makes everything feel that way.

You hug me, and if your hand lingers a little longer than usual, I don't think about it. Or at least, I tell myself that I'm not thinking about it.

I'll do it -- I can't -- I shouldn't.
I won't.

We end up sharing a bed. We both laugh about it, while taking off our shoes and if we lay a little bit too close, it's just because it's cold. Yes, it's cold, that's why we end up laying too close, and sharing a pillow.

When your hand finds mine in the dark, I try to hide my smile, even though you can't see me. I try to hide my smile from me, because it's cold, and maybe your hands are cold. It doesn't mean anything.

I'll do it -- I can't -- I shouldn't.
But I want to.

Tonight, when we're sitting in your truck, laughing, I tell myself that you're a good friend. You care about me, as a friend. You look at me like a friend.

It's hard to swallow down what I'm feeling, but if I turn the volume up on the radio a little, it helps me remember that word. Friend.

I'll do it -- I can't -- I shouldn't.
But it's getting harder.

You only see what your eyes tell you. You think that you're ordinary. But I see everything else, and there is nothing ordinary about you. You shine with such brilliance, that sometimes when I look at you, I feel like my eyes can't handle it. If I could make my mouth say something worthy of who you are, I'd tell you that.

I'm not as broken as you think I am.

I'll do it -- I can't -- I shouldn't.

And then I do it anyway. I tell myself that I'll pretend to be sorry afterwards.

If I have to.


next

19 comments:

V said...

I LOVE this! So beautiful.

Danielle said...

Your writing is so clever and addicting.

Travis said...

So. Traffic is money.

Wait.

You had a POST above that comment.

Stupid douchefucks and their spam.

Once again, flawless writing, and leaving me hanging! Loved it!

Sally-Sal said...

V:
Thanks! It's something I've wanted to tell for quite awhile. Thanks for stopping by!

Danielle:
Thank you so much. This post was the easiest thing I've written in awhile, mainly because I've been there. I'll do it-- I can't-- I shouldn't.

And sometimes, I just do it anyway :)

Travis:
I don't like having comment moderation, but the spammers, jeebus!

I'm glad you liked it, T. I thought it was time to have a little peek at Jenna :)

Surge said...

<3

The Dark Tower said...

SOURCE GOD DAMN IT!

Valentine Devlieghere said...

You have a great blog!
Best of luck! ;)

Follow me if you want on http://ptitevalentine-be.blogspot.com/

x Valentine

conspiracy818 said...

this is beautiful.

Tgoette said...

Hey that was cool, Sal! You have a cool blog. Thanks for sharing!

Cheesy said...

pssssttttttt-- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Anonymous said...

Amiable fill someone in on and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you for your information.

Maryx said...

Nice. Beautifully written.
Very intense. Very emotional.

I'm sure everyone has felt this way one time or another.

A Simple Equation said...

Awesome Stuff !! Really enjoyed reading this entry !!

disa said...

AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,性愛,a片,AV女優,聊天室,情色

盧廣仲vicent said...

AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,性愛,a片,AV女優,聊天室,情色

文章 said...

AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,性愛,聊天室,情色,a片,AV女優

somebody said...

酒店經紀人,

菲梵酒店經紀,

酒店經紀,

禮服酒店上班,

酒店小姐,

便服酒店經紀,

酒店打工,

酒店寒假打工,

酒店經紀,

專業酒店經紀,

合法酒店經紀,

酒店暑假打工,

酒店兼職,

便服酒店工作,

酒店打工經紀,

制服酒店經紀,

專業酒店經紀,

合法酒店經紀,

酒店暑假打工,

酒店兼職,

便服酒店工作,

酒店打工,

酒店經紀,

制服酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,

tiger said...

成人論壇,080聊天室,080苗栗人,免費a片,視訊美女,視訊做愛,免費視訊,伊莉討論區,sogo論壇,台灣論壇,plus論壇,維克斯論壇,情色論壇,性感影片,正妹,走光,色遊戲,情色自拍,kk俱樂部,好玩遊戲,免費遊戲,貼圖區,好玩遊戲區,中部人聊天室,情色視訊聊天室,聊天室ut,成人電影,成人遊戲,成人文學,免費成人影片,成人光碟,情色遊戲,情色a片,情色網,性愛自拍,美女寫真,亂倫,戀愛ING,免費視訊聊天,視訊聊天,成人短片,美女交友,美女遊戲,18禁,三級片,自拍,後宮電影院,85cc,免費影片,線上遊戲,色情遊戲,日本a片,美女,成人圖片區,avdvd,色情遊戲,情色貼圖,女優,偷拍,正妹牆

I LOVE YOU said...

成人遊戲,免費成人影片,成人光碟,情色遊戲,情色a片,情色網,性愛自拍,美女寫真,亂倫,戀愛ING,免費視訊聊天,視訊聊天,成人短片,美女交友,美女遊戲,18禁,三級片,美女,成人圖片區,avdvd,色情遊戲,情色貼圖,女優,偷拍,情色視訊,愛情小說,85cc成人片,成人貼圖站,成人論壇,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,免費a片,視訊美女,視訊做愛,免費視訊,伊莉討論區,sogo論壇,台灣論壇,plus論壇,維克斯論壇,情色論壇,性感影片,正妹,走光,色遊戲,情色自拍,kk俱樂部,好玩遊戲,免費遊戲,貼圖區,好玩遊戲區,中部人聊天室,情色視訊聊天室,聊天室ut,自拍,後宮電影院,85cc,免費影片,a片