Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Brian gets the green light.

I never admitted that me and Brian were friends, until the thing with Sooner happened.

Brian was always waiting outside my dorm, waiting for me to come outside, waiting for us to go to dinner together, waiting to show me how he wasn't going to decapitate me with snowballs.

On this particular day, he was outside, tossing a football around with one of the senior guys, who we all called "Sooner".

As soon as I stepped outside, Sooner saw me, winked, and told Brian, "Hey man, go long, and I'll throw it to you." Brian took off running, and when he got about five feet from Sooner, Sooner threw the football and hit Brian in the back of the head.

Normally, I probably would've cracked up laughing, and part of me actually had to snort back laughter a little bit, because remembering that shit is funny.

At that time, I was fucking pissed. Sooner was a complete dick, and thought he was God's gift to a vagina.

I went over to where his football was just sort of rolling around on the sidewalk, and picked it up.

I took that football, and kicked the shit out of it. I remember feeling such an intense satisfaction as I watched it sail away, and land right in the fucking dumpster.
Then, I turned around, and said in the most scornful voice I could muster, "You're a dirtbag."

Sooner turned and walked away, and I watched him go, while Brian came over to where I was. He looked at me, with what I thought was gratitude at my dickery on his behalf.

Instead, he said, "Um, Sal...That was my football."

----

13 comments:

otherworldlyone said...

Classic.

Annray said...

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who ends up in predicaments such as this.

If it would have been Sooner's ball it would have been an "in your face! I've gotta make a cool 'take that, dritbag' dance" moment.

Travis said...

At least it didn't wind up on the roof.

Geez.

We always had to get the janitor to get our footballs down from the roof.

As usual, sitting right here, waiting for more!

Hunter said...

Hah! Fun story.

Ellie said...

Poor guy.. bashed with his own ball and then deprived of it.

bluzdude said...

I bet he never gave the ball a second thought... he just saw you take his side over Mr. Studly. What else would matter to him?

Ed Adams said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha....


That's effin Hilarious!

Sally-Sal said...

OWO:
Probably the one and only time I've ever successfully kicked a football.

Annray:
When I try to do something like that, it always ends up like something that would happen in a fucking cartoon :)

Travis:
On the roof? That takes skills.

Hunter:
Thanks :) Brian was the source of much amusement. He was a turd at first, but just kinda grew on you.

Ellie:
That made me laugh all over again.

bluz:
Aw, thanks :) And Mr. Studly pissed me off. He was a shit witch.

Ed:
Glad you liked, Eds. :)

Danielle said...

But holy crap, you should have tried to go pro with that foot and aim!

Amber said...

I think I'm starting to like this Brian.

Sally-Sal said...

Danielle:
That was a one time thing. The stars aligned, the wind was just right...

Amber:
Brian just kind of grew on you. He was a little bit of awesome. Mixed in with a lot of dickery. But still, enough awesome to keep him around.

Maryx said...

Ouch . . . HAHA!!
Shame Sal! Poor Guy! But good move nonetheless.

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