Friday, September 25, 2009

All hail The Mad Olive

So, I have a big crush on The Mad Olive. After much deliberation, and a few veiled promises of boobage, er, handshakes, he has agreed to do a guest post.

Just a little taste:

“Dude, what happened to you last night?” A Master in Houdinism always makes cool shit up. Say 4 chicks picked you up, you crushed 10 Monster Burgers, or got into a fight with 3 midgets. Whatever you say, make it cooler sounding than falling down a 15-ft ravine into the mud

Cinco de Mayo, 2008…After a long day of binge drinking $8 beers at Busch Stadium, we decided that NO Mexican Independence is complete without Tequilla. No, I am not racial profiling, I happen to celebrate tequilla most of the year.

“It was a random night, and I had just traveled home from college for winter break. Upon arriving at my parent’s house we had dinner and I started drinking. Why not? School was out, it’s a Monday, and I crush whiskey. Any problems with that?

On Wine:

White wines are typically paired with white fish, chicken, and pork. No man should ever order white fish, chicken, or pork off a menu. Men Eat Steak. REMEMBER: Men drink kick-you-in-the-face red wine with steak.

Therefore, like previously stated, white wines are for girls. So, you should be knowledgeable enough to order a glass that compliments her dinner.

*Exception: On a hot day, it is acceptable for a man to chug white wine, but the bottle may last no longer than 30 minutes. Otherwise, you are not a man…

In conclusion, we could go much more in depth about this subject. But all you really need to know about wine are the differences between Red and White. I suggest you spend the majority of your time learning about whiskey, beer, and golf…


Mighty Hunter said...

Well done, Mad Olive, well done.

Though, in all honesty, I'd replace "golf" with "football" in that last sentence. Otherwise? Your thoughts on wine? Spot on.

Surge said...

Mad Olive is indeed pretty awsome :)

From the O-Zone said...

I know the main difference between Red and White. I'm not colorblind.

j-face said...

how come no boobage promises over here? hmmm?

Dutch donut girl said...

Thank gawd I'm a chick. Red wine is bleh...

Soda and Candy said...

Mad Olive is funny!

But wine gives me a headache so I'll stick to soda... and the occasional alco-pop. That's right, I know my gender-specific drinks!

Mr. Condescending said...

yeah, show JFace some boobs!

Mad olive is pretty cool, although I might add that a real man can drink reds with chicken or pork. That's even manlier!

One Sassy Girl said...

Dnt go throwing that white shit at me just cause I'm a girl. I prefer red but you can keep your whiskey. I'm still trying to enjoy a Bloody Mary, after that is bourbon. I'm a girl with goals.

Lana said...

thanks for turning me on to a new favorite!!

Philtron3030 said...

Thanks you so much guys, I look forward to checking out all your blogs.

Any suggestions on a topic? I'm thinking something morally casual...

somebody said...